Finally, hell week is over.  Procrastinators always have to work harder when deadline comes .  Today I was LATE!!  Crap, broke my streak.  Woke up at 9, and didn't make it till 9:40.  My co-workers called me twice cuz they were worried I was hit by a car while biking.  hahaha.

Yesterday we made our presentation on offshore outsourcing, which I was nervous for.  Yep, I do get nervous.  Our group had a lot of staged events and humor, but we still didn't win the 'contest.'  RIGGED!!!  .  We did O.K., however in case you didn't know, it's a touchy topic.  Understatement.  Our group recommmended outsourcing to the company, even while there were a couple employees in the crowd who were borderline yelling at us for that decision.  I invited them to come, knowing full well they would not agree, but it was the right thing to do.  When I spoke with them after the presentation, I had to deal with a tad bit of fire.  Does anybody reading this junk have any thoughts on Offshore Outsourcing??  I love debates.    comment if you dare....

That night I hit a post-nervous crash, by 4:00 P.M. I was struggling to keep my head up.  I caught myself with my head on my desk 3 times.  I biked home and fell asleep at 7:30, woke up at 12:48, couldn't fall back asleep until 3:30.  Then somehow slept through my alarm....story of my life.

One more week till sweet home ohio, where the skies are so blue.  Since I've been away from friends for so long and feeling slightly depressed I have a feeling things might get crazy.  :-O.  And my parents will be away for a week.....   hmmmm........................................................

O.K.  Time to go back to the A-P-T.  Speaking of which, I loved the A-Team, they rocked.  Specially the dude with the cigar or the guy with the    M-16.  Violence is awesome.  (again, instigating more comments). 

More quotes:

The climax?  The climax? oh yeah....the climax. 

                                                   (your an elephant if you remember this one)

There are certain times in your life, when you can feel a change.  Growing up I used to just lay on the floor from my legs twitching and throbbing, my mother called them growing pains.  Unfortunately this is true with all of life and not just my physical state, pain is the main catalyst for growth and change.  Pain is the slap in the face that leaves you angry, sad, confused, and sometimes hopeless for a few seconds, but in the recovery your brain races furiously and is forced to sort out a plan of action. 

Pain may seem to be the fiery tool of the wicked, but complacency and stagnation is the deadly disease that rots society and the soul.  No matter how much growth and change hurts, it makes a reactive being stronger then before.  I've felt that way this summer.  Growing pains.  I'm still not quite to the plan of action stage however...

Yesterday I embarked on an adventure to help resolve my frustration, of course this took me to the nearest batting cage. .  I researched the location and left on merely an idea of the general area.  Of course, if you have been reading along, this journey was via the snailish transportion system named:  the bicycle.  Physically uplifting, yet mentally frustrating when forced to waste away the afternoon hours of sunlight available to the full-time worker. (this sentence should be read stacatto emphasized with varying melodic tones).  Finally after going in circles asking people where a 'batting cage' was, and merely recieving directions based upon a local smokehouse, I arrived at my destination.

The parking lot was desolate, a fading wooden sign marked the place as DJs Baseball Academy.  Not a single car.  So I jailed my bike to the telephone pole next to the infamous smokehouse, and proceeded to approach the building.  On the door was a handwritten sign explaining that they had moved their hours from 4-9 M-F.  At least they're open...I push the door open and behold the amazing batting cage.

The room is barely lit, I think mainly from the windows.  Inside to the left is a large room decorated merely by old arcade game, and the carpeting and walls seem to be under construction.  Also to my left and a little ahead is a 20 foot long counter, manned by a single 17 year old kid with red hair and a shirt that reads, 'five fourths of the population have a problem with fractions.'  Nobody else is in the entire room.  A walk by the 1980's baseball magazines and simply ask them if they're open and how much they charge.  He explains 10 dollars for 15 minutes.  10 DOLLARS!!!!!  oh well, i've biked this whole way. 

I'm embarrassed to tell him to set the machines to 60 mph, since i'm so rusty, but he does it.  As i'm in the cage swinging away, he just decides to go to the neighboring cage and hit along with me.  This goes on for 10 minutes to the music played by the boombox stuck up on the counter.  After I blister my hand to the point of no return, and we talk a little about where me and him are from, I depart sweaty and ready for a long ride home at 7:30 p.m.  The end.

The answers to questions from last week are, Muppet's Treasure Island and Seal's Kiss by a Rose. 

Whoa, this is getting regular, but for summer i'm sticking to once a week.  However, slowly I've been taken over by this new feeling....what is it....R, r, r.r.r...RESPONSIBILITY.  AHHHH.  What the hell.  Yeah, as the 100 degree days tick by i'm developing what they call 'habits' where I'll 'wake up early' and come into work 'ontime.'  I also have been accomplishing these 'errands.'  Don't know what's goin on, some wierd mutation, and I don't even hang around in sewers often....

Today at work was the 'CAN-struction' as our community service project to bring in food for Harversters.  5,200 cans were used in the event .  When you're a part of something that huge, you can't help but get this bouyant warm feeling, awwww.  Makes me smile.  Even though one family I don't think could use 720 cans of carrots.  The event was interesting....most of the time you had to squint to tell what the things represented.  But when you get engineers involved,  the anality just perfumes the atmostphere (like that word, made it up myself).  The energy division made a replica of a power plant complete with boilers and turbines....some are even more nerdy then me. 

Somebody offered me their bike for the rest of the summer, 26'' wheels, yahoo.  That way I don't destroy my little-mountain-bike-that-could with my 190 lb frame on 18'' wheels.  I'll also be able to ride faster, anything with -ER attached to an adjective that already condones something dangereous is a Willy Wonka Wonderful thing in my my book.  Although, I already have an arm injury from clipping a telephone pole at 50 miles an hour (give or take 45).  I finally bought the final pieces from Goodwill necessary to complete my audio contraption, but it plays beautifully!!  And thanks to my bro, SCHROEDER, I now have like 35 christian rap CDs to pump.  BTW, mad props to that guy, he's on his way to TX and then to Phillipines and he's not even sure on how yet.  The man is INTENSE, so here's a hollah at em.  Hollah.  heh heh heh.

O.K., to end this submittal, back by popular demand (kidding) is the NAME THAT....WHATEVER GAME!!!

Movie:  It's just so wierd...that Captain Arrow's dead?...that, and my pants  are filled with starfish.

Song:  There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.
You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

    Gold star to whoever has the answer.

Currently Reading Men In Black: How the Supreme Court Is Destroying America By Mark R. Levin see related

brux·ism    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (brkszm)   n.

The habitual, involuntary grinding or clenching of the teeth, usually during sleep, as from anger, tension, fear, or frustration.

So yeah, just came to a profound realization about myself.  For like 4 or 5 years now i've known that I 'grind my teeth' at night.  My mom told me I did it in high school and when i was a kid, and explained to me dad does it too.  But to what extent, and to what that entailed I had no clue.  Then in college my roommate told me some noise was waking him up at night, coming from me.  Going into college I started to get headaches in the morning, and my jaw would be real tender throughout the day.  Now my face hurts....but I never really..noticed, because it has never been different.  Last summer I went to the doctor and they told me to wear a mouthguard and cut down on stress but I blew it off...pshh...I don't stress.   Why should I stress?  What's wrong with my life?  Finally it's gotten so bad I looked it up online and started researching....

Apparantely i'm supposed to have trouble sleeping at night.  Whoa!  That explains a lot, like how i'm exhausted every day.  It will cause my teeth to go crooked and my molars to crack and break....crap.  And my face will hurt every day.  All these symptoms the online information says won't happen until i'm in my thirties in the worse case scenario, not when i'm 21!!  The best sleep of my life has been the two times I passed out so drunk that it dulled all pain.....But then the real realization hit me...maybe I do stress.  This really is a symptom of a deeper problem, the tip of the iceberg.  Then after much inward examination combined with recent emotional outbreak I had an enlightenment, realizing how much crap that I keep, and will still not publish over the internet, but never told a soul.  I STRESS ALL THE TIME.  But I don't show outward appearances of it, only in extreme situations.  Maybe sometimes I don't worry, or don't attend to it, but it still tears me up.  The real solution, not a mouthguard, not more aspirin, but faith.  Faith that things are gonna be O.K. no matter how badly I screw up.  That it's O.K. to be wrong....(that one will take awhile).  And why should I not worry? 

Cuz of Jesus Christ.  Really when it comes down to it, why does sin matter if it will be over one day?  All worries of this life are connected to this life, which no matter how far away that seems, is still temporary.  Now, that's really easy to say, but I'm still having trouble about letting go of past, present, or even future @#% ups, but really God is the man to give it too, cuz nobody else I can really trust to 'make' things work out. 

But man when I can really trust, it's beautiful.  Life seems brighter, an adventure, waiting to be captured.  My abilities seem strengthened...I feel stronger not weaker!  Now those flaws that worry me will probably still stick, but that doesn't mean that they will matter.  God's grace really is amazing.

In other minor news, I started riding my bike to work everyday now, 3.5 miles there and back.  Really is up a hill both ways because in between me and work is the river valley.  Finally started the jump program to train for the high jump, maybe I'll finally be able to dunk.  Decided that I will head back to C-Town for one week!!  Thank you bro.  Phewww....Friday work is over, promise I'll have a less serious entry next time. Formulating a tattoo idea....